I almost missed my chance.

My husband and I met at the University of Washington in a Literature as Film class.

You could say the foundation of our relationship was built on discussing and dissecting stories.

But I almost missed my chance at a hot date with him because when he first asked me out, I was too busy focusing on the required class work.

I heard him say, “I’m getting my bike and heading out for coffee.”

Not what he actually said, “I’m getting my bike and let’s get coffee.”

Instead of waiting for him, I wandered off to my next class while he went to get his bike.

By the time he got back, I was long gone.

Fortunately, The Man Who Would Eventually Become My Husband didn’t give up easily.

The next time he asked, he wasn’t subtle about it. He led with, “Let’s go get coffee.”

If he didn’t make it happen, it never would have happened.

I was so focused on doing the work, that I wasn’t able to take a step back and see what opportunities were happening around the work.

The dedication and focus it takes to get a novel finished can be a lot like that.

How long has it been since you went on a hot date…. with your writing?

And how long has it been since you’ve thought of writing as more than just the story you’re telling?

Or something you have to check off your (long) to-do list?

A month? A year? Never?

When you go on a hot date with your writing, you’re not spending time thinking that you’re:

• Not good enough

• Not extraordinary enough

• Too boring

Instead you’re looking at your writing as a whole project – not just the bits and pieces you’re currently working on.

Whether you’ve written and published 10 novels or have been churning on the same book for a year (or maybe 10), you need a Writing Hot Date Night to step back from the day to day work and look at what you’ve created, what worked, what didn’t, and what you’ve learned.

Here’s how you get a date hotter than the stories my high school BFF used to tell about parking her car at the end of her driveway and necking with her boyfriend.
(… Because I never **cough** did that …)

• Make a date for a specific date and time.

• Get away from where you normally write.

• Bring something delicious to drink. (And chocolate.)

• Clear your mind.

• Answer the following 5 questions.

You might be thinking, “Jocelyn, 2020 was a shit year. I don’t want to spend any time looking at it.”

You may not think it’s worth auditing your writing because you've suffered major changes and challenges (good or bad) and are exhausted from trying to keep up.

And I hear you.

But I promise, it’s worth spending time answering these questions.

Five Questions for a Hot Date with Your Writing

#1 What Bestseller decision did you make for your writing in 2020?

It’s important to look back at and celebrate what went well this last year. Too often we think of all the things that didn’t work that we forget about what actually did.

A Bestseller decision is any decision that puts you closer to meeting your writing goals. It can be a shift in your attitude, your habits, your writing process, or your publishing goals.

#2 What One-Star decision did you make about your writing in 2020?

Spending a few minutes looking at what didn’t work helps us to be aware of what we’re doing and make a plan so we’re not doing it again and again.

A One-Star decision is one that took you further away from meeting your writing goals. It might be something like you stopped writing, you didn’t prioritize writing, you didn’t stick with one idea, etc.

(Don’t linger on your answer. Acknowledge it. Move on. We’re not paying rent on this space.)

#3 How much did you write in 2020?

This could be the number of words, pages, books, hours, days not banging your head on the keyboard, or whatever. However you want to measure your success that’s meaningful to YOUR writing process.

So often we only look at what we accomplish day to day, word by word, that we don’t see the progress we’ve made over an entire year. 

#4 What’s one area of your writing where you feel disorganized, challenged, embarrassed, or not very confident?

For example, maybe you haven’t looked at your novel in the last six months. Maybe you’re writing your novel on takeout napkins. #NoJudgment.

#5 Think about what you wrote for #4. How will you change this in 2021?

That’s your goal? Now start at the end and go backward—what steps do you need to take to accomplish it? Do you need to take a class, sign up for an online conference, hire a book coach, get an accountability partner? Is there a system you need to create? Software you need to buy? Start writing a new story? Stop writing all together?
(Quitting what you’re working on is a perfectly valid answer.)

Take time and care with answering these questions. Write your answers down someplace you can come back to. 

These questions are not about judging how much or little you’ve done. They're about reflecting and learning.

Be kind to yourself.

Once you get to the end of these five questions, take a deep breath. 

CONGRATULATIONS!

Most writers don’t spend a lot of time thinking about their writing like this. 

Writing for many authors is a reaction. 

They have an idea. They write it down. 

Then they keep adding words until they get stuck or have a whole bunch of words.

It can be scary and uncomfortable to think about your writing this deliberately. But it’s important that you do—no matter where you are in your writing career.

How come? 

Because by going through these questions you’re reaffirming your commitment to being a professional writer—and that you’re willing to show up and do the work. 

Keep going!

​

Hello!
My name is Jocelyn.

Story warrior, book lover, day dreamer, gardener, and creative. I help serious writers roll up their sleeves, get their novel ready for publishing, and reach readers. When I’m not elbow-deep in the story trenches, I’m outside world-building in my garden and battling weeds with my three criminal mastermind cats.