5 questions every writer needs to help reach your goals

 
(This is one of my many jungle adventures. It was taken with a camera in the Digital Dark Ages pre iPhones. I had to take a picture with my iPhone to digitalize it. That’s me on the left.)

It’s not just about writing the book.

At least when you work with me.

It’s also about how you’re going to get that book out into the world.

During a recent chat with a client, we talked about her publishing goals.

Her goals are rigorous. Her deadlines are set. Her expectations are high.

So are her challenges. We listed them out and talked about each one.

Our list included everything from missing a writing deadline to wrestling with imposter syndrome.

Then I pulled out my secret weapon question and asked, "What about other writers?"

“Everyone’s great," she told me. "Supportive, but sometimes, all they do is complain. You know, about what’s wrong with their writing, the industry and how it’s all so unfair and they’ll never get published… It's fine.”​

Except it's not fine.

Sometimes, our biggest obstacles are the people we surround ourselves with. We're not always aware of how much their influence is holding us back.

We spend so much time isolated and in our heads. We crave connection and community with other writers.

These connections help us be successful. We share ideas. We work through writing challenges. We lift each other up.

In sports, you play with better people to become better. Same with writing.

The people who you surround yourself with show you what's possible. When they tell you, "You're a great writer. You can do this!" You're going to believe in yourself and what you're doing.

But if you're hanging out with people who aren't doing that, maybe are even the opposite, it's going to be harder to be successful.

We need to occasionally re-evaluate the people we surround ourselves with.

Think about any writing critique groups you belong to, Facebook groups you spend time on, and writers you interact with. Now ask yourself these 5 questions….

  1. Have they shown interest in my writing these last six months?

  2. Do we have similar writing/publishing goals?

  3. Are they making regular progress towards their goals?

  4. How do I feel after spending time with them? Energized? Drained? Inspired? Exhausted?

  5. Do I want to spend time with this person?
    (Be honest with yourself.)

Above all else, listen to your gut instinct.

Sometimes our craving for community leads us to hold on long after we should let go.

We’re always growing and changing on our journey. Chances are if you’ve been writing for a few years, you’ve already grown apart from writers you once enjoyed and who helped you get to where you are now. There's nothing wrong with this.

The best writing friendships help each other be more successful and self-confident. They lift you up after your first, tenth, fiftieth rejection. They'll dance around the room with you and celebrate your successes. They'll help you get better in your writing without tearing you down.

They’ll help you reach your goals.

If there are writers in your life you aren't doing that, then it may be time to move on.

Hello!
My name is Jocelyn.

Story warrior, book lover, day dreamer, gardener, and creative. I help serious writers roll up their sleeves, get their novel ready for publishing, and reach readers. When I’m not elbow-deep in the story trenches, I’m outside world-building in my garden and battling weeds with my three criminal mastermind cats.

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