anatomy of a scene or how to make the best grilled cheese
"If the choice is making a mediocre filet mignon, or the best grilled cheese, I'd rather do the latter."
So said my client, Josh, last week during our call.
In pursuit of the best damn grilled cheese, we've been talking a lot about foundational elements of writing. One of these elements is the structure of a scene.
A lot of writers rely on their instincts when it comes to crafting scenes. And since humans are hardwired story-telling machines, our instincts are usually pretty good. But they're not infallible.
Often we can get a sense of when something's working or not working in a story. We may not know what exactly it is or how to fix it, but it's like opening an expired carton of milk and taking a whiff. We don't want to drink it.
Readers are the same. They know when something stinks. Maybe they'll keep reading (because some readers are masochists and many force themselves to read books they hate), but they're probably not going to make a habit of recommending stinky stories to their friends.
In the interest of keeping things simple, let's break down the anatomy of a scene.
But first, let's talk about what a scene is.
A story is a journey of characters towards a specific big goal. That journey should be a single path moving a character towards their big goal.
I like to imagine hiking up a mountain. Along the hike, you may stop to take pictures, pee in a bush, eat a snack, take a nap, bandage a blister, whatever, but you're still moving forward up the mountain to the summit.
Your book is the same. Every scene is forward motion towards your character's big book goal. All the stops, setbacks, accidents, and so on are the scenes within that journey.
And when your character reaches (or doesn't reach) their big book goal, the journey is going to have changed them in some way.
A scene takes up a continuous space and time, is told from one point-of-view, and contains a change.
In a scene, SOMETHING needs to change. Whether that's a location, mental state, relationship, understanding, knowledge, and so on.
If there's no change, it's not a scene.
A scene is NOT:
A description of a person, place, or situation.
Background information.
Long paragraphs of dialogue.
Random information that doesn't connect to the story.
Note: A chapter can be a single scene or a collection of scenes.
Six parts of a scene
#1. Want
Every scene needs to start with what the point of view character wants.
This want can be ANYTHING. The important thing is that you character has to have some kind of want in the moment, right now.
It could be external, "I want breakfast." It might be internal, "I want to feel loved."
(Notice how either of those could be simple or complicated depending on the story and situation.)
Whatever it is, the important thing is that you character has to have some kind of want in the moment, right now.
This is not the characters big want for the entire story. This is the immediate want.
#2. Obstacle
Something or someone(s) gets in the way of your character getting what they want.
Obstacles can show up in two ways:
External: Something happens in the external world.
Internal: Something happens internally.
Not all obstacles are intentionally obstacles. An obstacle could be a tree falling over the road, or someone who is pursuing their own want but that comes into conflict with what your character wants. (See the example below.)
#3. Change
Every scene needs a moment of change where conflict with the obstacle keeps the character from going after what they want in the way they had originally planned.
Depending on what the obstacle is, the change is when your character is forced to adjust their scene want or come up with an entirely new one.
An change can happen in two ways:
External: Something happens in the external world that causes a change in plans.
Internal: When a character has an internal change (learns something new, realizes someone, understands something, receives new information, etc.) that causes a change in plans.
#4 Decision
The moment where your character faces a decision about how to move forward.
Now that there's an obstacle in the path of their want, they can't keep going as they were, and they must make make a decision. What are they going to do about that obstacle?
Two things to consider:
Decision: The character HAS to make a decision about what to do next. Will they choose door #1 or door #2?
(Yes, doing nothing is a choice, but depending on the circumstances it might not be a very interesting one.)Cost: To keep things interesting, choices should have a cost. What will choosing door #1 cost the character? What might they gain? Same for door #2, and any other options.
#5. Action
The moment your character acts on their choice. What did they choose, door #1 or door #2?
You want your character to be taking the action or making a decision in this moment.
Even when a character appears to have no agency, they still need to be engaged in some form of decision making. If your character isn't, then chances are you're creating a character without agency.
If you've ever had the comment, "Your character has no agency" about your writing before, this is typically where it comes from.
Your readers should see this action on the page.
#6. Resolution
The moment we see how your character’s decision worked out.
How does your character feel now that they’ve acted on their choice? Do they feel confident? Do they regret their decision? Do they wish that they could have been a little bit braver? Were there immediate consequences for whatever they chose to do?
Phew. Okay. That's a lot of ground to cover. There’re are a lot of other foundational elements that come from these building blocks (like narrative drive), but for now, we’ll stick with this groundwork.
Let's look at an example from my client Josh's upcoming book, THE ORPHAN, THE MARINE, AND THE MASTIFF.
Example Scene
Scene Summary: The protagonist, a child named Mei Mei, is in a caseworker's office. She's been in the foster care system since her parents died. She's sitting in a chair waiting for a brother she's never met to come get her and take her away to a new home. She's nervous and afraid because she doesn't know what's going to happen to her. What if she's hurt again? What if he throws her away and she has to go back and live with a terrible family? When her brother comes for her, she doesn't trust him because even though she's been told he's her brother, she doesn't know him. And he's big and scary.
Want: Mei Mei want to be small and unnoticed. Maybe he'll forget about her, not show up, or decide he doesn't want her and leave her behind. She doesn't want to go with him. This scene shows the reader her fear and powerlessness in the moment.
Obstacle: She's been told she has to go live with her brother. When he shows up, he wants to physically pick her up. This is the first obstacle because before it happened, she was accomplishing her goal of sitting there and not being noticed. Now, her brother has noticed her and he is keeping her from achieving her goal.
Notice, he's not an obstacle out of conscious malicious intent. He probably thinks picking her up will soothe her. Regardless, his wants (soothe her) are conflicting with her wants (leave me alone).
Change: Her brother has noticed Mei Mei, gotten down on her level (physically intimidating to her possibly), and not only has he noticed her (against her goal), but he's asked if he can pick her up (increasing her risk). This is the turning point because she doesn't want to be picked up and now she's being forced to make a decision.
Decision: She has to make a choice. Should she tell him she doesn't want to be picked up? What will cost her to say no? Will she get in trouble? Or should she let him pick her up because then she's less likely to get hurt but he'll have physical control over her? Either decision means he's not going to leave her alone.
Action: She takes a risk and tells her brother she doesn't want to be picked up. This is the action moment because she acts on her decision. In this case, between two potentially bad decisions. (1) Say no and get hurt. (2) Say yes and be in his control.
Her big brother accepts her refusal. She's relieved because she's not going to be hurt for saying no, he's not going to pick her up, and he's going to respect her decision. Win!
How does this victory moment change Mei Mei? Since she can't sit there and be unnoticed any more, what does she want now?
A new scene begins and a new cycle.
What will Mei Mei do next? We have to turn the page and find out.
Take some time with your chapters to analyze the anatomy of your scenes. Can you identify each of the six steps? That's going to give you a good idea if the scene's working or not. If it's not working, you'll be able to identify where and why. Then you can fix it.
The benefit of doing this work is that it puts you in control of your story. You’re not just relying on your hardwired story brain’s instinct.
Instead of grabbing everything out of the fridge and slapping it between two pieces of bread and seeing what works or doesn’t, you're deliberately selecting your ingredients to craft the perfect grilled cheese sandwich.
Send me an email and let me know if this was helpful.
Hello!
My name is Jocelyn.
Story warrior, book lover, day dreamer, gardener, and creative. I help serious writers roll up their sleeves, get their novel ready for publishing, and reach readers. When I’m not elbow-deep in the story trenches, I’m outside world-building in my garden and battling weeds with my three criminal mastermind cats.
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